Monday, November 24, 2014

What WAS the Comic Battle of the 20th Century? Part 10 - Guy Gardner vs. Blue Beetle, plus Loco vs. Pulverine!

Continuing my 12-part series reviewing comic books that claim The Battle/Fight/Bout/Showdown of the Century on their covers. Today's battle---

Guy Gardner vs. Blue Beetle! Presented in Justice League America #52, 1991.  Written by Keith Giffen and  J.M. DeMatteis. Art by Tevor Von Eeden and Randy Elliott.

Our story opens with the title amusingly backtracking on its claim, while an upset Ted Kord is looking in a mirror.

Ted has put on too much weight to fit into his Blue Beetle costume! He decides to go to the Justice League’s gym to work out. You gotta start somewhere, right?  Guy Garner and Major Glory are already there. Guy starts giving Ted fat grief.

I have never liked Guy Gardner. I don’t know if it’s his stupid haircut, or the fact that he’s always a total douche, but I’m not a fan. Maybe I’ve never read the right stories. He doesn't seem like Green Lantern material to me.

Major Glory stops Ted and Guy from fighting, and suggests they settle their differences with a fight.

Hey! Batman shows up, so you know this is going to be good!!! What? He’s here by accident? Oooooh.

The bell rings, and it turns outs that Ted is the better boxer.

Between round one and two, Guy notices his nose is bleeding, whispering, “NOBODY bleeds Guy Gardner…”

Yep, he sucker punches Ted between rounds. Everyone intervenes, and Martian Manhunter kicks Guy out of the Justice League.

You’re not improving my opinion of you, Guy.

I’m calling Blue Beetle the winner.

No. I just found it depressing.

Of course, it may be because I did something similar to a friend in college. He was totally getting the best of me, and I sucker punched him between boxing rounds. True story. (However, he was facing me.) It was one of the few times when I’ve been truly, lividly mad. Perhaps this is Karma’s way of telling me to take a hard look at myself.

Or, I could merely move on to the next comic review...


Loco vs, Pulverine! Presented in Loco vs, Pulverine, 1992. Written by Fred Schiller and Steve Donnelly. Art by Gary Yap.

In the early 90’s, DC Comics had bad-ass Lobo as their very popular tough guy, while Marvel had mean-butt Wolverine as theirs. Along comes Eclipse Comics to settle who’s actually the toughest, through the sophisticated art of parody.

Loco wants to prove he’s the baddest of the bad! Here he is finishing a fight with a Sabletooth parody, Snaggletooth, not to be confused with Snagglepuss.

But Loco actually wants to fight Pulverine!

Pulverine, however, is nowhere to be found. Screw the 18 pages of suspense, I’ll jump ahead and tell you why—

Pulverine has an exclusive contact with Marble Comics, and only they can tell him who to fight. Loco, however, keeps taunting him until finally Pulverine snaps!

Soon the battle is raging. The art has its appeal, but some of it takes a little effort to decipher.

Fortunately, the fight is so incredible it breaks into other, simpler, comic realities!

And into very 90’s realities.

The realities don’t like being messed with, so some characters decide to put an end to it.

Hey look! Star-Lord is in there. I bet the artist thought he was adding an obscure character into this scene. Not so obscure anymore, eh world?

Here’s something I’ve yet to mention. There’s a reporter who has constantly, unsuccessfully tried to cover this story. He finally catches up with the battle.

It ends with our fighters visiting our reporter in the hospital.

It’s comedy! I laughed at some bits. I guess I don’t really need to see a winner.

I guess.

It was quite the ruckus, but it lacked the name recognition to be the Battle of the Century.

As of 1992, the title still belongs to 1976’s Superman vs. Spider-Man.

Come back Wednesday for Part 11! It's a big one!


SallyP said...

The Guy/Ted boxing match is one of those stories that drives me nuts, because the whole thing if General Glory's fault!


Dave said...

I'm in 'awe'

Anonymous said...


Kivi said...

Sabletooth? Sabretooth, innit?

Tomster Mania said...

Brilliant collection! I must bookmark and return to read the other half. Out of all the comic book battles, the prospect of a future Superman vs hulk bout is the most intriguing to me. They should definitely do it again! I wrote an article about it here for further reference: