What WAS the Comic Battle of the 20th Century? Part 4 - The Thing vs. The Hulk!

Continuing my 12-part series reviewing comic books that claim The Battle/Fight/Bout/Showdown of the Century on their covers. Today's battle---

The Thing vs. The Hulk! First presented in Fantastic Four #25, 1964. By Stan Lee and Jack Kirby. Inks by George Roussos

WHY ARE THEY FIGHTING?
Our story opens in the grand tradition of Stan Lee penned books where everyone in a panel is saying something. Mr. Fantastic is yelling, "Ben! Come back!" Ben's on the the wall. I can't help but feel there is a better way to leave.

Regardless, Mr. Fantastic has an antidote that will change Ben-Grimm-the-Thing back into Ben-Grimm-the-Human. But Ben ain't having it. He's afraid his girlfriend, Alicia, prefers him as the Thing. Gather from that what you will.

Suddenly the blind Alicia shows up with a newspaper. Looks like the Hulk’s on the loose!

We join the Hulk and he’s ranting about how much he hates his alter-ego, Bob Banner. (Yep. Bob Banner.) He also hates the Avengers. Hate hate hate.

It’s interesting that, besides the paper clipping, the only thing Bruce Bob had in his pockets was a pipe and matches. I’m not sure what he’s been smoking. Something to calm him down perhaps. Tossing it all aside, Hulk begins his jumping journey to New York City! Meanwhile in the Big Apple, Mr. Fantastic collapses!  As he attempts to find a cure for Ben’s Thing ailment, he’s gotten sick while messing with viruses. That’s some sloppy science, Dr. Richards.

Johnny Storm, the Human Torch, takes off in the Fantasticar intent on returning with a doctor. He however encounters the Hulk wrecking havoc, and attempts to put a stop to it. The Hulk makes quick work of him.

The Thing and the Invisible Girl soon arrive. Sue doesn't last long either. It’s now just the Thing and the Hulk. Time for the main event! (Btw, if the Thing fails, the army’s going to drop an ATOMIC BOMB on the Hulk.)

HOW EPIC IS THE BATTLE?
It’s on!

The Thing and Hulk break a lot of things; a warehouse, a bus, the pavement, a dock, a boat, the Washington Bridge. However, I think it’s most notable when Hulk gets his hands on the Thing and this happens—

It was this very moment, when I saw the building wagging to and fro, that I thought, “Hey! Maybe this IS the Battle of the Century!”

At one point, Mr. Fantastic decides to join the noble fight, but instead lapses into a coma.

Wow. That panel's just begging for new dialog.

Sorry. I sometimes distract myself. The battle continues and the Thing manages to wrap Hulk up in bridge cables! Has he won?

Nope. He tuckers out and takes a beating.

Wait! He’s up again!

Whaaaat?! Continued Next Issue? Welcome to the Marvel Age of Comics! Well, the next issue’s cover doesn’t say “The Battle of the Century”, so I’m not reading it.

…….

Okay, I read it. Spoilers. Rick Jones throws an “emergency gamma-ray treated capsule which Banner gave (him) months ago” into the Hulk's mouth. He turns back into Dr. Banner. Whether it’s Bob or Bruce, I’m not sure.

WHO WINS?
The Hulk. The Thing fights him more in issue #26, but it’s Gamma-Ray-Capsule Rick who ends the battle.

BONUS!
I love this panel from issue #26.

It’s a bit goofy, and it’s also one of the few times Stan kept his words off Jack Kirby’s art.

IS IT THE BATTLE OF THE CENTURY?
Until Fantastic Four #25, I’ve considered the Human Torch/Sub-Mariner fight to be the battle of the century. Both their fight and the Hulk/Thing battle took place partially on the Washington Bridge. I haven’t consulted it, but I’m pretty certain the bridge would say the Hulk/Thing fight was the bigger battle. I’m going with that.

The Battle of the Century - The Thing vs. The Hulk, Fantastic Four #25.

At least as of 1964.

Come back Wednesday for Part 5. The battle of the sexes! The Thing vs. Thundra!

What WAS the Comic Battle of the 20th Century? Part 3 - Joe Palooka vs. Humphrey Pennyworth!

Continuing my 12-part series reviewing comic books that claim The Battle/Fight/Bout/Showdown of the Century on their covers. Today's battle---

Joe Palooka vs. Humphrey Pennyworth! First presented in Joe Palooka #77, 1953. Written and drawn by Ham Fisher.

Before I start, I should admit I knew absolutely nothing about Joe Palooka until buying this book. He’s the heavyweight champion of the world! I didn’t know that. It isn't shocking that he's going to have the “Bout of the Century” at some point. But in the context of the Battle of the Century in all comic books, how does he stack up? Let’s find out…

WHY ARE THEY FIGHTING?

Joe is a boxer. The fact that he ends up in the ring is no biggie. Humphrey, however, is a gentle blacksmith who hates to hit people. The story begins with a quick explanation that Humphrey had recently beat a boxer named Balonki. Why this happened is unclear. It must have happened in a previous issue. I’m sure it was a wonderful story. The trouble this issue begins when two evvvvil boxing agents trick Humphrey into signing a fighting contract. (Side note: I really dig a lot of Ham Fisher’s art.)

Humphrey is a man of honor and reluctantly obeys the contract. As it turns out, nobody can beat Humphrey! He’s built like a mountain and punches like, oh... let’s say, a punching mountain.

Since he's unbeatable, all the people in West Wokkington Falls (the small town where Humphrey lives) decide to mortgage their houses to build a million dollar boxing stadium.

Unfortunately, the stadium doesn’t bring in enough money and the entire town is in danger of losing their houses! I hope things are going better in East Wokkington Falls. Also, the evvvvil agents have written into Humphrey’s contact that they get everything he owns if he ever quits boxing. He would have to give up the blacksmithing that he loves. The only solution is to have Humphrey fight the heavyweight champion, Joe Palooka! It would insure a huge audience and tons of money from ticket sales! These panels explain some of it, after the obligatory shower scene and cursing.

The evvvvil agents somehow get the notion that the more Humphrey eats, the more unstoppable he becomes. In other news, the entire nation wants to come see the fight, but everyone either gets lost or blocked.

All this may sound complex, but believe it or not, I’m leaving out a lot! To sum it up, Humphrey and Joe do not want to fight each other, but if they don’t, the entire town loses everything!  Unfortunately, there’s not going to be a big, paying crowd. On the edge of your seat yet?

HOW EPIC IS THE BATTLE?

The fight is ready to begin and we get this interesting panel—

It doesn’t look good for Joe. He takes one punch and it almost does him in.

The bell saves Joe and they continue into the next round. Their fight takes place in and outside the ring.

WHO WINS?

After several solid punches, Joe finally knocks Humphrey over.

 

HA HA. Humphrey’s been eating so much, he gets stuck in the canvas. But, BOO HOO, the town didn’t make any money and everybody loses everything! Wait, Joe says he’ll pay for everything?!

Joe Palooka, you jerk! Why didn’t you just do that in the first place?

IS IT THE BATTLE OF THE CENTURY?

The book does a good job of sitting up the events and it feels like the fight is a big deal. However, the fight only lasts two rounds. At this point in the 20^th century, I’m going to have to say the Battle of the Century title remains with The Human Torch vs. The Sub-Mariner, in the fight of ’40.

Come back Monday for Part 4. The Thing vs. the Hulk! It's the Marvel Age of Comics!

What WAS the Comic Battle of the 20th Century? Part 2 - Li'l Abner vs. Daisy Mae!

Continuing my 12-part series reviewing comic books that claim The Battle/Fight/Bout/Showdown of the Century on their covers. Today's battle---

Abner Yokum vs. Daisy Mae Scragg! First presented in Al Capp’s Li’l Abner #72, 1949.

WHY ARE THEY FIGHTING?

Funny story. Let’s start at the beginning.

As president of “The Lily-White League”, Miss Gerta Girdlebuster addresses the other Klan league members on how disgraceful boys and girls act in this day and age (1949). Her dream is to find “the one 100% Good American Boy.” After tireless hours (as a Peeping Tom) she finally succeeds.

Soon, 19 year-old Abner Yokum agrees to become the spokesperson for all-that-is-good-in-childhood. Li'l Abner's speeches are very successful and soon young’uns all over are turning their lives around!

This makes the Lily-White League so successful that when elderly philanthropists die, they leave all their money to the league! This upsets “The Sweet Innocence Society”.  The Society suddenly goes on a quest to find a “100 percent Perfect Good Girl” to compete with the League’s “100 Percent Good Yokum”.

Guess who they find! That’s right, Daisy Mae Scragg!

Suddenly, with “100 percent Perfect Good Scragg” becoming popular, millionaires are confused about where to donate their money. The solution? Have a physical battle! Duh.

Perhaps it will even be the battle of the century! 

HOW EPIC IS THE BATTLE?

The contestants come out blindfolded, because, um, well… we’ll get back to that. (Not really.)

As the bell rings, they both remove their blindfolds. Daisy Mae immediately SMACKS Li’l Abner!

By “SMACKS” I mean she kisses him. So, of course, the referee starts kissing Daisy May too!

Yeah, it’s probably some obscure boxing rule that hardly ever comes into play. Anyhoo, this is where our story ends.

WHO WINS?

In true love, there are no losers.

IS IT THE BATTLE OF THE CENTURY?

No. No it is not.

Come back Friday for Part 3! Joe Palooka vs. Humphrey Pennyworth! It's a real boxing match! With hitting!

What WAS the Comic Battle of the 20th Century? Part 1

In the 20th century, there were several comic books that claimed "The Battle of the Century" on their covers. It recently occurred to me since that 100 years is now behind us, we can clearly look back to decide which truly was the Battle of the Century, and call everyone else a liar.

What constitutes the Battle of the Century? To me, it's mainly one or two things. The combatants have to both be at the top of their game, and/or the battle itself has to somehow be epic. As I did my research, I didn't limit it to only the word "battle." I also included "fight, "bout" and "showdown." It's all good. I did, however, want the extravagant claim to appear on the book's cover.

I found twelve comics that made that claim. I'll be posting every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday until I've covered all twelve in chronological order.

Let's get started! First up, The Human Torch vs. The Sub-Marnier! Originally presented in Marvel Mystery Comics #9, 1940. Story by Bill Everett, Carl Burgos and John Compton. Art by Bill Everett and Carl Burgos.

Admittedly, I'm already breaking my own rule. This comic does not state "Battle of the Century" on its cover. It's on the splash page. However, this may be the first comic to make the claim, so I'm giving it a little grace.

WHY ARE THEY FIGHTING?
Namor, the Sub-Mariner, has vowed to destroy the human race. The Human Torch has recently joined the police department. As Namor attempts to wreck the Washington Bridge, the Human Torch arrives to stop him. I think I’m going to have to side with the Torch on this one.
 

HOW EPIC IS THE BATTLE?
Namor soon retreats to his winged submarine to grab an air tank. He immediately returns to the surface and quickly blows out the Torch’s flame.

Namor then drags the Torch underwater to his “Aerial Sub”. Namor wins in four pages!

But wait! Namor accidentally loses control of an air hose (which powers his engine) and it hits the Torch. Not only does it revive the Torch, it also surrounds him with an air bubble! And, like a fart in a bathtub, it starts to float to the surface. Namor tries to stop the bubble, but he can’t!

Ladies and Gentlemen-- The Sub-Mariner, Lord of the Seven Seas, unable to pop an air bubble.

The bubble bursts as it reaches the surface. The Torch is free, on fire, and the battle continues on land. Soon, Namor has jumped into a water reservoir for a refreshing dip. The Torch (somehow) covers the reservoir with flame, trapping Namor. Namor immediately starts to suffocate because of the water’s chlorine content. He passes out.

The Torch wins!

No wait! Unfortunately, the Torch can’t see Namor through the flames and doesn’t know his predicament. So, he contacts the Army and asks them to bomb the reservoir. (Yes, they are actually trying to kill each other.) The American Army successfully drops an American bomb on the American reservoir. This, of course, blows Namor out of the water and saves him from suffocation.

As the fight begins anew, I discover something I never knew about the Sub-Mariner— He has a Sprinkler System!

WHO WINS?
After more shenanigans, Namor eventually slips a “translate case” over the Torch. This isn’t really a win however. Every time Namor lifts the case to kill him, the Torch has enough air to burst back into flames.

Suddenly, Betty Dean appears. She is described as Namor’s “only human friend.”  I present the searing, nail-biting conclusion below--

Dispute settled! There's touching and everything. It's actually quite sweet.

They then say their pleasant goodbyes.

IS IT THE BATTLE OF THE CENTURY?
Let’s see—Both the characters were relatively well-known, there’s collateral damage, and it appears the fight lasted most of a day. Plus, in 1940, I suspect no one else had yet made the claim, so I’m going to say, “Yes!” At this point in the 20th century, it is the Battle of the Century!

Come back Wednesday for Part 2! Li'l Abner vs. Daisy Mae!